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Question of the Week



What's Your Excuse for Not Attending Synagogue?


At almost every function I attend, a wedding, kid's birthday party or communal gathering, someone comes up to me and says, "Rabbi, do you know why I don't go to synagogue...."

10 Comments Posted
Reader Comments
Posted: Aug 30, 2010
Maybe people want your blessing for not going, Rabbi. Maybe they want to hear, "Well then don't go!"

It is hard to connect to a weekly thing and when you start going, ANYTHING gets tedious. Friends ask where you were and you feel commitmentphobia kicking in.

I didn't floss unless I needed to for years because hygenists nagged me the whole time I was laying in the dental chair. I even avoided seeing dentists for this reason. One day a MALE hygenist simply said that if I flossed one day a week that it would make a difference. Then he told me some funny stories and I relaxed. I immediately started flossing every day and I go back to see the dentist every six months. (My teeth thank me!)

I think the weekly commitment seems overwhelming to people. Especially since we have the equivalent of Thangsgiving dinner every Shabbos! Someone who wants to swim doesn't start swimming laps-- they start out slow. I suggest you tell them to try schul once a month and see if they like it.
Posted By Anonymous

Posted: Sep 5, 2010
A Jew 24/7
I am a jew 24/7. I do not need to go to a Synagogue to connect to Judaism and my Jewish heritage.
A synagogue is a wonderful experience, especially when you are young looking for direction and still deciding what path to follow for the future, and the social aspect was a big plus growing up in a small community.
You don't need the 4 walls of a synagogue to connect to G-d. G-d is with you 24/7.
Posted By Anthony, Brisbane, Australia

Posted: Sep 5, 2010
Going to Synagogue.
I'm sorry but there is no good reason at all, for not attending Synagogue inless it has to do with you simply put you have no way to be able to get there due to illness or what not. Synagogue is not a social hall, it is a place to give G-d reverence. Keeping the Shabbat holy is more than just lighting the candles every week and having a dinner, it's also about the Synagogue too. G-d should come first.
Posted By Chelsea, Spartanburg

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
Per the comment made by
I agree with you that G-d is with us 24/7. In fact that's obvious since He's One.

But the more we go to synagogue, the more "We" are with Him 24/7.

As the Rambam says -- one's love of G-d is identical with his knowledge of Him.

And in a synagogue, we can't help but learn more about our Rock and the depths of His Torah. Whereas elsewhere, such as at home, we have much to choose from -- magazines, tv, laying on a comfy couch.
Posted By Anonymous, Brooklyn, NY

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
Dear Anthony
I am a man 24/7 and I don't need to prove it to anybody. But, I still make sure to eat 3 times a day, get 6-7 hours of sleep etc.
My soul, just like my body, needs to be fed constantly.
And yet, the way to connect to G-d is only the way he will tell you. A man can't reach G-d, if not for G-d's hand that is being offered on his side.
G-d's hand IS offered to you, all you have to do is to grab it.
Posted By Rabbi Bentzion Butman, Phnom Pene, Cambodia
via jewishcambodia.com

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
Synagogue attendsnce
I attend synagogue sevn days a week. I have been Gabbai of my northern schul, and presently Gabbai of my Florida schul.
Posted By Anonymous, Boynton Beach, Florida

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
I have never apologized to anyone for not going
I have never apologized to anyone -- certainly not to a rabbi -- for not going to synagogue.

I do not apologize for not doing things that I have no reason to do.

For everyone who apologizes to a rabbi for not going to synagogue, there may be 10 or 100 or 1000 or 10,000 other people who just don't go and don't apologize. The rabbi won't hear about (or from) them -- fortunately for him, because their (our) stories are not as cute as the apologies he hears and retells.
Posted By Kate Gladstone, Albany, NY/USA

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
a jew 24/7
to Anthony in Brisbane,
You are absolutely right! You are a jew 24/7 and if you don't need others around you to feel jewish, Kol HaKavod (all honor to you). However, other jews need YOU. You are part of the klal (community) that makes up judaism and gives support and meaning to others who need your presence to be able to say kaddish, and have a repetition of the Amidah and say Barchu and take out a Torah to hear the words of G-d spoken aloud. Without YOU we can't do these things. You are important to US! WE care that you aren't there when we need you. In judaism, the action speaks way louder than the thought. Getting out of bed a little earlier to help make a morning minyan isn't just an act of yiddiskeit (judaism), it can be an act of tzedakah (charity).
Shana Tovah Lecha (good year to you)
Posted By Gavriel Eliezer Ben Ze'ev Gershon, Largo, FL

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
SYNAGOGUE ATTENDANCE.
Every time I went to synagogue as a child, I felt it was a waste of time. I pray to God where & when I WANT to pray to God. My prayers are more full of feeling then! Praying in a synagogue just to pray in a synagogue is like taking vitamins when one feels good...it has very little meaning! It's inconvenient for me to go to synagogue -- I have no car and the nearest synagogue must be six miles away or more! Besides, being a religious Jew will take away my dreams of marrying a Prince. There are NO Jewish HRH's, because there's (now), no monarchy in Israel. I want to marry a Prince -- Jewish or otherwise! Lord Frederick Windsor recently married a British -Jewish actress...but she is NOT religious! I don't like anti-semites...but Lord Frederick (& many other high placed HRH's), are today NOT anti-semites. Jimmy Carter wrote the book, "Why Not The Best?"
I echo this sentiment. Why not the best for Me, (too!)?
Posted By Alexandra, Denver, Co

Posted: Sep 6, 2010
excuses, excuses
I'm one of those people hurt and confused by demanding and intolerant people in the community, and I don't attend for several other reasons. On the other hand, my region is so deeply endowed with records of Jewsih history and, especially with the beauty and brilliancy of Moses as He and family delivered Torah, that (as I've always said) the outdoors and nature are truly my synagogue. Our communal mindset in the community really is, too- a daily and holy event. So, I feel no Jew goes without a visit to the temple, one way or the other!
Posted By Anonymous, Kanata, ON

 

   
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